The “Shoulds”


shouldShould, shouldn’t, should’ve.

One night, while binging The Mindy Project, I viewed (multiple times) a commercial for Halo Top Ice Cream. The man eating the ice cream watched others and thought about what he “should” be doing. 
To be honest, I do the same thing as the man eating ice cream in the commercial. The pressure of what I “should” be doing as a mother, as a working mother/real estate agent, and as a wife comes at me from all directions.

Thoughts about what I think I should be doing, what I should’ve done in the past, and where I think I should be in life get into my head. 

I’m “shoulds-ing” all over the place; it’s a thief of joy and no way to operate.

“Shoulds” in my own life:

  • I shouldn’t “just” be a mom.
  • I should get a job.
  • I shouldn’t be working so much.
  • I should be more present.
  • I shouldn’t be on my phone so much.
  • I shouldn’t eat that.
  • I should make more time for my husband, kids, self.

“Shoulds” in regards to parenting:

  • I shouldn’t over-schedule my children.
  • My children should be involved in activities.
  • My children should go to school full-time (our district only opened in hybrid this year).
  • I should’ve homeschooled my children this year.
  • My children should be able to play happily on their own and get along (does that happen with siblings? Asking as an only-child raising 3 kids)
  • My daughter should know her letters.
  • My children should eat more vegetables.

Going forward, I’d like very much to bravely block out the “shoulds,” trust my own judgment, and operate solely on what feels best for myself and my family.

How do you block out the “shoulds” and follow your own path?

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Jamie is a real estate agent with The Valentini Group and a full time mom to a daughter (2014) and boy and girl twins (2016). She was born and raised in Westchester County, NY and now lives in Danbury, CT with her husband of eight years, their cockapoo, three children, and a revolving door of foster puppies. Jamie previously worked in the field of early childhood education and now enjoys practicing it at home. When she's not spending time with her family or helping clients find their dream home Jamie likes getting out with her girlfriends, running, baking, and watching lots of TV.


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