Mom Dating: A Guide for Moms and Friendships

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I was lucky enough to find a great moms group when my son was only two weeks old. And I truly mean lucky. Through this group, I have met some amazing women {I’m talking about you, 4th Trimester ladies!}. Many of the women I’ve met through this group are good friends of mine today, and I see them regularly. Joining this group was one of the best decisions I have ever made, hands down.

I’ll be the first to admit; I was very hesitant to join a moms group. Women can be so judgmental. This isn’t news to any of you. Before I became a mother, I would worry if people would like who I am. I never made friends easily, and joining a new group felt intimidating. After my son’s birth, I was worried that people wouldn’t like me OR my baby. What if they thought he cried too much? Cried too little? Wasn’t cute enough? Pooped too much {OK, not really}? Ridiculous, I know, but despite that intimidating fear I had about joining a mom group, I went with an open mind and open heart.

Needless to say, this group has had an impact on me. I was suddenly putting myself out there, asking other moms to hang out and planning what I now call “mom dates.” Who was this person organizing group dinners and cookie swap parties? I didn’t recognize myself!  

My husband was just as mystified as I was. He would come home from work, and I would recount all the details of my interactions with a new mom I had met that day. We would even joke that I spent the summer picking up moms! Talking to new moms is just the first step.  

I learned quickly that if a friendship was going to develop, we would need to spend some time together, a.k.a. mom dates. Here are my tips for mom dating {getting to know your new mom friend}.

1. Meet in a place that makes you comfortable.  

When you’re ready to take your mom relationship to the next level, I suggest something simple for your mom date. Meeting at a local coffee shop is a great choice. There are always lots of people around, which will help keep your mom date super casual. Don’t want to leave out the kids? How about a walk with the strollers around the neighborhood? I have developed some of my best new mom friendships by strolling through our neighborhood.

2. Talk about anything and everything except your kids.  

Your kids are the foundation of your new mom relationship. This is your connection to each other, right? But think about this — talking about being a mother and parenting is one thing, but it can be intimidating if the conversation turns into a comparison of your kiddos. Stick to discussing you! You and your new mom are likely to have more in common than you think!

3. Be yourself.  

Cheesy but probably the most important piece of advice. You are an interesting and dynamic person. Being a mom is only a part of who you are. Your new mom friend will appreciate you being your true self.

What are your favorite things to do on mom dates?

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Meet Amy, our founder, and co-owner of Fairfield County Moms Blog and co-owner of Westchester County Moms Blog. In addition to Fairfield County and Westchester County Moms Blog, Amy teaches 7th and 8th Social Studies grade at a local middle school. She married her husband Brien in June of 2009 and is mommy to 3 boys - Dean {May 2012}, Tyler {October 2014}, and Finn {February 2018}. The family lives cozily in their Westport, CT home with two small dogs and one large cat. Besides spending time at home with her family and spending her school days with teens, Amy loves to daydream about traveling across the globe, she’ll read pretty much anything that comes recommended, and is probably the world’s messiest cook. Connect with Amy on Instagram {@amyjones112}.

9 COMMENTS

  1. Great advice! It’s so important to acknowledge that motherhood will definitely change us, but it does not need to define who we are. I can’t wait for our mom date tonight!!!

  2. I was lucky enough to find a mom group online when Ellie was about 7 months old. It was called Maya’s Mom, and I loved it. Here was a place I could go, even though it was virtual and not down the road, and chat with other moms. Through the site, I met a small group of women (14 of us total) from all over the world that I still chat with on a daily basis more than 6 years later. We’ve met up on several occasions, and it’s been one of the best experiences of my life.

    For our “dates”, we use Google+ Hangout. We all get together, have a glass of wine, and gab via video chat. It’s so much fun. We don’t get to do it often since we’re all in different time zones, but I look forward to those dates so much. Sounds like we all need to have one soon!

  3. Great post, Amy! Isn’t it funny how our children help us to step out of our comfort zones. So much easier to network for my child than for me & I’ve ended up with amazing friends because of it.

  4. I loved this post. Becoming a mom has really opened a whole new social channel, and I’m loving it. My mom’s group has served as an amazing way to meet like minded moms. Luna & I are both reaping the benefits of it. Plus, most of my friends and family live in NYC, so making new friends close to home has been great!

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