Consider this my official love letter to all the single parents out there because IT IS HARD.
Recently, my family drove down to Orlando. My husband, who hates flying, graciously drove our ten tons of crap back in his truck, while my kids and I boarded a plane home. (Driving one way is fine, but two!? No way!).
To my surprise, it wasn’t flying with two 4-year old’s that was torturous….it was their behavior once we arrived home! Were they tired and missing their routine? Yes! Were they still high on Disney adrenaline? Yes! But mostly, I attribute my kid’s terrible behavior to my husband’s absence.
You see, I have never felt entirely comfortable parenting solo. My twins spend a majority of their time during the week with their Dad or Grandparents while I’m at work. Whether I’m taking them out to the grocery store or alone with them overnight, two-on-one has always made me a little nervous. Now that they are getting older, disciplining is a whole new frontier!
I typically let my husband play bad cop. I’d hate to spend my few hours at home yelling and screaming! When I do try to discipline, I feel inadequate. It’s the one area of parenting where I feel like an absolute failure. I lack the confidence to put my kids in their place in any meaningful way. It’s no surprise that they pick up on my energy and use it to their advantage.
My husband, on the other hand, is a teacher and knows all the behavioral tricks to keep my kids’ “crazy” at bay. Not to mention, he has more of an assuming presence and the kids know he’s not messing around! I wish I could gain some of his parenting clout in our household!
I’ve tried to absorb behavioral techniques from my husband, but still feel as though my kids play me like a fiddle. Now that they are getting older, they work as a team and gang up on me! Do all parents feel this way? Does it get easier with age or will the defiance just be different?
I know that one weekend of single parenting is nothing compared with what others deal with regularly. My husband and I purposely took jobs that don’t require a lot of travel, so as not to put that burden on one another. This weekend taught me that I need to find my voice as a parent. I need to learn how to stand my ground. No one benefits when the inmates are running the asylum!
