When we moved from Queens to CT, I found a position closer to our new home and increased my salary. I became the sole breadwinner and the insurance holder. Unfortunately, within six months it was clear that the division would slowly atrophy and my position would be absorbed into another division. And I was (newly) expecting; a baby, and a (potential) pink slip.
Deep cleansing breaths. You got this.
I scoured the internet looking for resources on what to do and what not to do during the job search process while pregnant. I did not find much given the position I was in; I had a job, I am mid-career, and I am the primary paycheck for a family of three almost four.
I asked a friend who had been in HR for her career and she laid out some facts: No one can ask you if you are expecting, married or if you have kids. You do not have to tell them anything about your current health status. You will not get FMLA if you have worked for the company less than a year.
Armed with that information, I set out for a search that ultimately had me change positions at 32 weeks pregnant. I’ve collected some administrative things that you may want to consider prior to moving positions.
Giving notice on your situation: I received my offer by phone and needed time to think about it. Prior to accepting the offer in writing (I had already given a verbal acceptance) but before we settled on a start date, I let them know officially. This gave my new company time to adjust my first couple months expectations accordingly. I did not know if they knew before I had an offer. I mean I’m plus sized, but that’s an 8-month bump. No amount of stretch jersey will do that justice. For other women, they have told when the time is right. Just recently a friend who is less than 20 weeks told her new boss on day one. You have to do what’s right for you.
Health Insurance/COBRA: The devil that you know sometimes is better than the devil that you don’t. My health care benefits at the former job were less expensive and covered more than the new job. I could have paid COBRA for myself until after the baby was born, but I didn’t, and ended up paying two co-pays for being pregnant (bummer). Be very clear when you are accepting an offer that you will need to get all the information for medical benefits so you can make the best decision for your family. Most companies will wait to go into benefits conversations until AFTER you have accepted the offer, but since part of you will be using these benefits right away, it is critical to get this upfront.
Work environment: Consider how flexible your entry into this new (for you) position is. Will you have time to go to the doctor? Is there flexibility to come in early/ leave late/ work from home if you are not at your best? Are the bathrooms nearby and available? Can you eat at your desk (or have snacks)? Can you take breaks to get up and walk around or sit down and rest your head if necessary? You have to take care of you and the growing little one inside of you first and foremost.
Time to recover: Family Medical Leave Act: basically a hold for a certain # (up to 12) weeks on your job so it does not get filled while you are out. You are not paid by the US or State government, however some companies will overlap your time out on FMLA and short term disability (60% of salary for a certain # of weeks) so that there is income happening while you are recovering. You will not get FMLA and most likely will not get any leave time paid for. There is little or no short term disability to cover basic expenses. When I went out on maternity, that was it. Nothing. I know, I know, I chose it, but it still didn’t help in the short run. If you have an offer, negotiate. Get your negotiated offer in writing, including time off, using vacation or personal days, etc. Make sure that you are not selling yourself short, this is just a blip of time that you will have to recover. Six to eight weeks sounds like a lot, but it’s nothing in the grand scheme of things. Your body needs that time to recover, and your mind needs that time to adjust to a new lifestyle.
Flexible work arrangements: Rejoining the team with flexibility is critical. You want to hold your own, however, you have to set clear boundaries about what you are willing to do (work from home, be on call for emails and conference calls) and what you won’t do (stay late, overnight travel for 3+ days, weekend work). Figure out what that is for you and create a plan with your manager and peers. There is nothing worse than trying to overcompensate for having been out on leave. You WILL burn out, become resentful or have peers think you have “it easy”. You don’t. You have a brand new baby (stressful) AND a brand new job (more stressful).
Appointments: Schedule them out in advance, and give your team enough notice. Try to do the early morning or last one of the day to give yourself a little more time with your young’un on those special days with shots. I would get the 4pm appointment knowing that my gal would be angry and cranky after, and she would want to nurse and cuddle.
Mother’s Rooms (for nursing moms): This is a conversation to have before delivery with HR or other mothers in the organization to determine what you need to do to take care of your baby and yourself. Find out how many other women are expecting or currently using the room. Pumping on a schedule isn’t easy, so give yourself at least 35 minutes to set up, pump and clean up. Nothing is worse than someone knocking on the door saying “It’s my time” when you are halfway through.
I am not sure I would have done it exactly the same way if given the opportunity again. I did very much enjoy working after the baby was born to keep my adult conversation adult-like and to have something to do other than diapers, nursing and laundry. My husband was home, so the amount of family time we had together was amazing. The downside is that I didn’t get that special time with the Baby I wished I could have had.
Maybe it’s a function of not being the first, or maybe it was my career ambitions, we’ll never know. Changing jobs while pregnant is not unheard of. Looking back, I’m glad I got the opportunity, although I would have made some tweaks along the way. But hey, that’s life. Sometimes when a door gets slammed in your face, you recover and notice that the view from your window is pretty dang awesome.
