Recently, my two daughters participated in a gift drive at school. Part of this activity included writing cards to nursing homes and children in the hospital. I thought this was important and I enjoyed helping them donate items, write cards, and get others involved. Through the school’s student council encouraging participation, the gift drive turned out to be a great success. I noticed that this encouraged them to give back and to reflect on what is most important.
My six-year-old asked me if she could keep writing cards because, she explained, it really brightens someone’s day. This warmed my heart and made me pause during our busy evening routine. We put aside homework and other chores and wrote personal notes with a picture and a short message. We also wrote letters to some family and friends that live far away. My girls also made cards for a few friends that were sick or families going through a rough time.
This brought joy to all involved and made us reflect on how writing can be such an important and grand act of kindness and yet, it can be so simple. This is true when creating something for loved ones or strangers who need an uplifting gift of support.
This made me reflect on the power of writing, both as a gift and as an important way of communicating with children. I find as a mom that sometimes trying to talk through a situation with girls can only lead to frustration on both ends. I have noticed that when one of my kids is struggling emotionally and shuts down when I try to communicate verbally, notes can be a great way to break through a barrier of communication.
At the end of a long day my daughters are occasionally tired and overwhelmed, and understandably so. This is especially true of my older daughter. When I ask her about her day, she is quiet and needs time to herself to unwind. However, with busy weekday evenings consisting of homework, sports and other activities, making a real connection with a child at the end of a day can be difficult. Sometimes this leads to frustration and feelings can be hurt.
As a way to communicate better, I started leaving small notes on my daughter’s bed or slipping them in her backpack, simply stating that I missed her during the school day and I hoped she had a great day at school, and maybe something to look forward to like a family trip our outing.
I found the communication between us improved greatly, and I think this was because she could have the time to herself that she needed and put her thoughts on paper. I started doing this with my younger daughter too and we have a special “pen pal” club. Sometimes I find a simple paper heart with “I love you” written on it on my bed or desk. This always makes me smile.
I’ve found that writing is a great way to encourage my kids to give. Both as an act of kindness to others and as a lift to themselves emotionally. I have found that encouraging them to write in other ways has also boosted their confidence and creativity.
One example is keeping a journal of their thoughts, feelings, or reflections on the day or week; also writing poems, writing to other friends who live far away, and creative writing stories. I also plan to work with them on writing autobiographies of their life (so far!) in a binder and include photos, accomplishments, memorable trips and events of time spent together. All of these are great keepsakes to work on together as a family now, and to look back on later with fond memories.
