Ever since I was a little girl, I remember longing to have that large family dynamic. My parents were divorced when I was very young, so for whatever reason, once they separated, they never elected to have more children in their next relationships.
I recall being jealous of my friends that had brothers and sisters to play with. As I got older, I promised myself that I would get married young, have children in my 20s, and grow that family I wanted so badly for myself growing up.
Well, things did not exactly turn out to plan (do they ever really?).
I was in a long-term relationship for the majority of my late teen years and 20s with a much older man who had already had children of his own and had no interest in having any more. For years, I desperately hoped I could change that. I truly lived my best life in my 20s, changing my career path several times, taking way too many trips to Las Vegas, and trying to figure out who I was.
Finally, years passed, and at around 27, I started to panic. What was going to happen to that family that I wanted? Why had it not happened yet? After a lot of soul-searching, I realized that my current relationship needed to end. If I wanted to have that traditional family that I had longed for all my life, I knew I would not get that from my current boyfriend. Once that relationship ended, I once again embraced the single life and tried to let things happen naturally (while still quietly panicking).
About a year or so before I turned 30, I was living in Chicago, and I finally met someone with whom I saw a bright future. We had fun together, went on vacations, and this person wanted to get married and have a family. Things moved quickly. We moved in together, got engaged, and about a year later, married.
It all seemed like the fairytale I had always dreamed of, except it was eight years later than expected.
Once married in 2014, we both decided we wanted to start our family rather quickly. We didn’t want to wait. I vividly remember telling my husband, “I want to have four kids. I was an only child, and a large family is important.” As newlyweds, he lovingly told me, “I don’t think so. Two is my limit.”
Conceiving our first child took a little longer than we had thought. However, insert modern medicine, and boom, our first daughter was born at the end of 2016. We were so in love with our first baby.
I quickly jumped back into my career as an Event Planner three months after my daughter was born. I remember it being so important to me to balance it all flawlessly. Although we had a few stumbles here and there, being able to manage one child and a career was manageable for me. I felt empowered as a career woman and a mother!
When my daughter was about 18 months old, we decided that we were going to move to Connecticut. My husband was originally from Connecticut, and along with a job opportunity for him, we knew his family could help us with childcare long-term. Once again, my plan for my large family felt like it was taking a detour as the big move took some adjusting, and we were not ready to add more children to the mix.
Finally, in mid-2019, we were ready. I was creeping up there in age and knew that we could not push things off much longer. I quickly became pregnant, and I was so excited to give my daughter the sibling I had always wished for. The day of the first ultrasound quickly approached, and since this was not our first rodeo, my husband elected not to come to the ultrasound as it was during the work day. It felt like a “been there, done that” type of situation for both of us.
During the ultrasound, the doctor kept checking things more than they had the first time. I kept asking questions. Finally, she said, “I want you to know that there are two confirmed heartbeats. You are having twins.”
My husband was a little upset he did not attend the ultrasound after I had to call him and tell him the news.
After the twins were born in 2020 during the pandemic, I quickly realized THIS was the large family I had longed for. There was to be no fourth child as I was DONE. I am unsure if it would have played out differently if it had been only singleton pregnancies; however, I have realized that I don’t care to think about it as this is my story. It was a little different than I had thought it would be, but in the end, I am incredibly grateful for how my story panned out.
