I don’t pay enough attention to my kids.
I’m always too distracted.
I’m such a disappointment.
How does SHE get it all done??
I don’t know about you, but the affirmations in my head that I speak to myself are anything but positive. I lay down at night, and instead of reflecting on three things I’m grateful for, my brain always goes to negative-town and points out the three things I DIDN’T do, or could have done BETTER, or what I still have to do tomorrow….and the list goes on.
I find myself frustrated at the thankless job that motherhood can be. I find myself handing my son his water, and exasperated, prompt a, “Thank you, Mom!” from him.
I might sound like I don’t enjoy motherhood, which is far from the truth. But in the daily grind, the true nitty-gritty, in the trenches…sometimes, yea, I don’t want to “adult” let alone “mother.”
Our vision is filled with Facebook news feeds and Insta Stories about how picture-perfect life seems to be or parenting articles about how we SHOULD be doing it. Without even consciously subscribing to it, our brains (well, my brain) is filled with self-criticism. I focus on how I could have or should have done it better.
Here’s my advice. IGNORE THEM. You are your own worst critic. Don’t believe the lies you tell yourself. Find out what your own personal love language is. Mine? Mine is Words of Affirmation. This language uses words to affirm other people.
Ironic right? I tear myself down but strive to build others up.
Your love language might be different. But find out what it is so that you can focus on that which makes you thrive.
But here are my words for you:
To the working mom: Well, wait, we’re ALL working moms, aren’t we? Raising kids isn’t a walk in the park!
To the mom that works a full or part-time job: You’re doing an amazing job. You’re setting a beautiful example for your children that you can fulfill a career AND be a Mom. You’re contributing to your family’s income, and you’re fulfilling your own desire to be successful outside, as well as inside the home.
To the stay-at-home mom: Seriously, you’re rocking it. It is a HARD job being with little people all day. Teaching them, cleaning them, playing with them, napping them, keeping them entertained. Your love, attention, and devotion are something that will make an indelible imprint upon their young hearts and minds.
To moms everywhere: Rich, poor, single, divorced, married, straight, gay….I don’t care. Moms are Moms. We must stick together. We MUST build each other up. We must empower one another. There is no ONE right way. We’re all doing our best.
I see you, perfectly imperfect. I see you loving your kids every single day. I see you kissing the boo-boos away. I see you building your little one’s confidence and encouraging them. Spread some of that love and affirmation to yourself. We’re all perfectly imperfect. Be kind to yourself. We’re all doing our best.
You are strong.
You are confident.
You are encouraging.
You are gracious.
You are hardworking.
You are a mom.