Who were you mama? Before. Before you cleaned noses and made dinners and fixed boo-boos? Who are you in addition to being a mama?
I am currently a psychotherapist, a wife, and a mother, but I’m also a friend. I’ve always loved theater and music. I used to study those things. I was a classically trained vocalist in my teen/college years and beyond. I was a writer of short stories. I loved research. I was an avid reader. I was a fundraiser for nonprofits. I did some story slams with The Moth.
I was all of these things and, of course, more.
Maybe I still am. But those that know me now do not necessarily know those things about me. I am certain that other moms (and dads) around me have special talents or interests that we’ve never discussed when discussing school or the weather or behavior challenges. I wish I were still singing beyond lullabies and pop songs with the kids, but I haven’t the faintest idea of making that happen given childcare and time constraints.
Maybe there will be time for these things in the future?
I’m sure these hidden or distant parts of ourselves contribute to who we are today. They influence our tastes and what we value.
They also influence our relationship with our children and the ways we foster what they explore.
My daughter has been doing ballet for several years and also wants to study voice and theater. That’s likely not a coincidence. My family values the arts and places emphasis on these things. I fantasize that perhaps we can do community theater together one day, and I can hone in on my inner Mama Rose (a joke for any theater nerds reading this)!
