I recently saw this quote on Facebook:
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. – Jim Rohn
Author’s note: I’m going to assume as a Mom that this is NOT inclusive of our little people.
Seeing it on Facebook was ironic enough. Facebook: where our newsfeed is perpetually bombarded by random and innocuous updates, advertisements for something to make us prettier, more comfortable, faster, more convenient, smarter, or better as parents.
The Facebook feed which deceptively makes us feel more connected while creating more isolation. Sitting on a park bench, staring and scrolling on our phones, instead of talking to the other Mom on the playground. The Facebook feed that depicts how happy/put together/messy/hilarious our lives are “normally.” But I digress.
They say that it takes a village to raise your kids, but I truly believe that village is MOM’S safety net, and not so much for the kids.
I saw this quote and thought…hmm. What’s my average?
1. My Husband
Talking to my very best friend just the other day, she noted, ”You really are lucky (not a fact lost on me). Not all husbands are as hands on, not all marriages are truly as much of a “team” as yours.”
This, I know. And it is so true. My husband works hard at home, and at work. He works outdoors: in the cold, the rain, the heat. Then he comes home and jumps in with both feet; getting down on the floor to play cars, cooking dinner or emptying the dishwasher. There’s nothing he’s not willing to do.
2. My “Sister”
I have this most amazing friend. She’s quite surpassed the friend zone, and I truly do consider her my sister. I call her with exciting or devastating news if my husband doesn’t answer the phone. I can be cranky. We can talk about our kids poop. We can talk about our parents, and how they impacted us. We can talk about the peaks and valleys, and the very large and challenging obstacles in this phase of our lives while balancing it all. I know that no matter what I say to her it will not be twisted, judged, misconstrued, or shared. She embraces my kids as her own and there is nothing but mutual respect and love between us.
3. My Mom
This woman has always been my cheerleader. Even when it is unwarranted. Even when the going gets tough. Though we have our differences. Though we don’t always see eye to eye. Even though SHE doesn’t know/believe it, she is strong, smart, and brave. My life would not be the same without her.
4. The Badass Ladies I Work With and For
Working from home, virtually on a daily basis, can be isolating sometimes, but I am in contact with these women everyday. Seriously, there are four of us total on the team. I work for an incredible woman. She has built a multi-million dollar business with a small but mighty team over the course of six years. Yet she still maintains her kindness, compassion, and empathy. She’s a super-savvy business woman with a take no-prisoners, empower and equip everyone attitude. She has populated her team with other women who know how to empower each other, challenge each other, and encourage each other to grow professionally.
5. The Network of Pre-School Mamas
This network is an eclectic array of Moms. We see each other at drop off and pick up daily. If our kids have ‘run around time’ after school lets out we all sit and share our Motherhood war stories. We relieve each other and have play dates. We all ooh and ahh at the Pre-school gatherings and ‘parties.’ I’ve met some really cool ladies, from lots of different walks of life.
So. My Lifeboat? Here’s who I want in my boat:
I now, as a Mom, require people who rather than judging, self-reflect. People who are as honest inwardly as outwardly. People who empower and encourage each other to be better humans. Smart people; people who work towards helping others, towards a solution, towards the common goal. Kind people, always offering a listening ear, and a compassionate heart. People who challenge me to be the best version of myself; personally and professionally. People who are always willing to offer and deliver news and advice constructively, and not in a way to break down, but build up.
At the end of the day we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. Instead of spotlighting someone else’s shortcoming; concentrate on supplementing your weakness with their strengths. When we working together we can accomplish great things.