Which Bravo Show Is Right For You?


Bravo TV

Working full-time is freaking exhausting. Momming full-time brings on the kind of exhaustion one can only imagine if one were to run a marathon on an empty stomach while wearing heels and chasing a tiny human who refuses to wipe his butt before sitting it on the new couch. Even though the end of a long day of Momming might seem like it would induce a slumber worthy of  Sleeping Beauty, the curse of the Mom Brain keeps you awake far past bedtime – catching up on emails, making to-do lists…. I mean, it’s past midnight and I’m listing right now!

Some ladies turn to wine or movies or books to help them wind down. But for me, there’s only one thing that drowns out the noise of my Mom Brain – and that’s basically every TV show on Bravo

Bravo is like meditation for me. Whenever I actually meditate, it lasts for about two minutes and I start to think about laundry. But I can turn on The Real Housewives of New York City and everything else melts away. The dulcet tones of Countess LuAnn rehearsing her Cabaret show (“JOVANI!”) make me calm. Bethenny Frankel coming up with meme-able one-liners every week makes me laugh the dirty dishes away. And if you haven’t watched Sonja Morgan chip a tooth while ripping off a man’s shirt, then by God you haven’t lived.

I am obviously partial to the RHONY, but as a proud watcher of all things Bravo, I’m here to help you find YOUR distraction from Mom Brain. Whether it’s “Flipping Out,” “Below Deck,” or “Southern Charm,” there is a Bravo show just waiting to lull you into a deep state of relaxation. 

The Real Housewives:

If you’re a little bougie, love window shopping, and watching beautiful people go on lavish vacations, then the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is the show for you! This city also includes the two hottest house-husbands in the franchise, which is a huge bonus. 

If you are a little extra, love to shout, eat pasta, and throw furniture, then you’re a Real Housewives of New Jersey girl. Every character is great, and the never-ending feud between sisters-in-laws Teresa and Melissa will keep the drama going for seasons to come. 

If you love watching overly tan women get drunk in Mexico, and you don’t easily cringe while watching women stir the biggest pot of drama ever, then congratulations! You and the Real Housewives of Orange County will be best friends! Honestly, this may be the most fun of the cities – purely because of the aforementioned Tres Amigas: Tamra, Vicki and Shannon. 

If you want one-liners to rival Bethenny Frankel, then you need NeNe Leaks and the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Also a great show if you’re a fan of wigs.  

If you love carnies, southern accents and big hair, then hoo boy, will you love the Real Housewives of Dallas. Leanne Locken is seriously a gift from the Reality TV Gods. She is a former carnie-socialite who frequently threatens to stab people. We don’t even deserve her. 

Honestly you can’t go wrong with any of them. Except Potomac. I mean, I still watch it because I’m Ride or Die with the Housewives, but let me save you the trouble and tell you that you can just skip this one. 

Vanderpump Rules:

If you need your Lisa Vanderpump fix after she left the RHOBH (like I do), find her here! Along with an entire restaurant filled with people who SEEM really terrible, but somehow end up lovable by the end. And if you love a good redemption arc, you will love Jax Taylor. 

Southern Charm:

Another good one if you love accents and people using really fancy plates. And Kathryn and Thomas are honestly the most entertaining couple in Bravo history.  

Below Deck:

If you work in the service industry and need to watch people who have to work for even ruder customers than you, I highly recommend Below Deck, which is a show about a yacht crew working 24/7. 

Top Chef:

This is basically just food porn, but with the added bonus of some amazing behind-the-scenes drama. This is also one of the only competition reality shows in which every single contestant is insanely talented. 

Project Runway

Like Top Chef, but with clothes! Also, because this is a ninety-minute show, I find it weirdly calming and meditative, and it sometimes puts me to sleep.  

Million Dollar Listing:

If you love going to Open Houses and flipping through real estate listings, Million Dollar Listing is your new fave. Even my husband enjoys this show. The New York edition is blessed with the presence of Fredrik Eklund, who is a Swedish Reality TV show God, and underscores all of his scenes with sound effects. 

Watch What Happens Live:

A thirty-minute party hosted by Andy Cohen, who is the Deepak Chopra of Bravotation (Bravo-meditation! I made up a new word!). Also, will get you drunk. 

I hope that this article helps you to find your Bravo soulmate. Until then, you may borrow the Countess’ mantra: Be cool. Don’t be, like, uncool. 


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