Meet Melissa :: An Unexpected Path to Motherhood


A woman walking on a beach.Tumultuous. That’s the one word I would use to describe my entry into becoming a mom. I did not grow up yearning to be a mom.

After watching my mom (who had five kids herself), I realized that I was so anxious about managing it all. Sure, I babysat as a teen, but I was able to hand those responsibilities back at the end of the evening. It’s not that I wasn’t loving. I played with dolls and had Barbies, but I just wasn’t called to it.

When I met my husband, I knew he would be a great dad that was involved and a true partner. Fast forward to becoming an aunt, then a godmother to the sweetest boy, and later on, two lovely nieces.

I let go of the guilt of what I expected motherhood to be and started thinking of how it was meant to be for myself.

My first son was born in June 2009. The year prior, we learned my dad was diagnosed with ALS, commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. Although we wanted to wait longer before having our first child and getting some projects done on our new home, we quickly learned time was not on our side.

By the end of 2008, my dad’s health was failing quickly. Looking back, the tumultuous start to my becoming a mom was probably due in part to the stress of my job and my dad’s illness. Doctors urged me not to blame myself and instead focus on a healthy delivery. Easier said than done.

At 29 weeks, I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and was put on bed rest. I was a bit delusional and in disbelief. Nonetheless, my son was born at 38 weeks and is now a very healthy 5’11, 13-year-old. 

The road to becoming a mom was certainly not what I had dreamed up. No baby showers full of ribbons or oohs and ahs.

Becoming a new mom during a time my mother was caring for her ailing partner was not what I had hoped. My older son was fussy. He didn’t sleep more than 20 minutes at a time until he was six months old. I even had a friend tell me she was determined to help us get him to sleep during a visit to her home that summer, outside of Boston. I gladly took her help as an experienced mom. Twenty-four hours later, she exclaimed, I just don’t know what to tell you! He doesn’t nap. He doesn’t sleep! I thanked her for her honesty. I felt redeemed but delirious due to the lack of sleep.
When I became pregnant with my second son, after much deliberation and therapy to help me realize that a different type of pregnancy outcome was possible, I felt like a different mom. No matter what the journey, I could do this! My dad passed away in 2010, which left a hole in our hearts. But my mom could then be by my side, enjoy her grandson, and offer me all the wisdom I knew I needed.

Being a mom does not 100% define me. I’ve learned that this is perfectly ok to say.

I enjoy being active with my kids and coaching my son’s basketball team. But as an individual, I love traveling whenever and wherever possible, reading books I won’t remember once I have finished them, attending concerts, and recently getting back into playing golf.

I have worked outside the home most of my adult life, either full-time or part-time. It’s something I enjoy doing, but the balance is challenging. My name is Melissa; wife to a wonderfully supportive and funny husband and mom to two boys ages 9 and 13.

I look forward to being on this amazing team of moms and sharing more as I trip through this journey we call motherhood!


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