My Twins Are Almost Four and Still Not Potty Trained


potty training twinsSo, I’ll get right to the point. My twins will be 4 in a couple of months, and they still aren’t fully potty trained.

After pulling off their sixth pair of wet leggings this evening and subsequently snapping at Twin B that I was sick of the accidents, I realized how stressful this whole “potty training twins” thing really is…for them AND me.

About a week before their third birthday, even though I knew they weren’t at all ready, I took advantage of the pandemic quarantine and worked up the nerve to tackle this whole twin potty training thing.

I successfully potty trained my son in 3 days when he was younger than they were, so I thought, “Sure, potty training my twins who are totally not ready will be no big deal.” Not.

It’s literally part of my job to help parents potty train their children. I just had a session last night where the last 20 minutes were completely devoted to troubleshooting and providing resources to a parent who was frustrated with potty training.

As I was giving her really sound advice, I realized how much of a fraud I felt, knowing my own kids and I couldn’t get it together after 10 long, wet months.

So since it’s the method I recommend to parents most often and it’s usually successful with those super headstrong kids, I decided to go with a variation of a three-day potty training method when I started training my twins. I rolled up all of our rugs and got to work: Lots to drink, naked on the bottom, about a thousand reminders throughout the day of, “Tell me when you need to go.”

I tried sticker rewards…they didn’t care. I tried chocolate chips…they wouldn’t try them (Are these children even related to me?). They never leave me alone, so they had plenty of exposure to what the bathroom is for. They started pooping on the potty on their own, but they just couldn’t seem to understand that they also have to pee in there.

I got fed up after several months of multiple accidents a day and started taking them to the bathroom throughout the day as part of our routine.

If they said they wanted to go outside, we went to the bathroom first. Time for dinner? Go pee first. Bath? Pee first. I usually hate this method because it doesn’t allow them to feel when they need to go; it’s all externally regulated by me. But I was desperate…it’s so much darn laundry. Spoiler alert, this didn’t help either. They got frustrated because they didn’t always need to go when I took them, and then they started outright refusing, which turned into tantrums. We already had enough of those.

As I break up the 400th fight they’ve had in a day, I realize I don’t have the mental power to give each of them the individual attention that they probably need for this to stick. After 10 months of multiple daily accidents (times two), I’m at my wits end. I am honestly completely out of ideas. Why don’t they consistently feel the urge to go?

I mean, I should give them some credit because they will occasionally be dry for most of the day and let me know when they need to go, but those are rare days. We haven’t had a single day in the last 10 months where I didn’t have to change at least one of them (and it’s usually both of them).

I feel like I’m constantly bombarded by all of these parents whose kids who potty trained like it was just another regular day, and it’s hard not to think something’s wrong.

I know I shouldn’t compare, and I know they are little and will get it eventually. Until then, I guess I’ll just be doing a lot of laundry. Thank goodness we just got a ton of hand me down leggings from my niece!

Is anyone else in the same boat? At what age did your later potty-trainers finally “get it?”

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Charity is originally from CT, but grew up in New Hampshire. She returned to CT in 2000 for college, and currently resides in Monroe with her husband (married in 2011) and three children (A son born in 2012 and identical twin daughters born in 2017). Charity works part time as a Speech-Language Pathologist for the CT Birth to Three system. She thinks it's the best of both worlds because she gets to work in a job she loves (and needs to pay off those hefty grad school loans!) and be home a few days a week with her children. Charity enjoys theatre, and brings her son often. She's also a big fan of coffee, reality TV, and essential oils. You can follow her personal blog at:


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