I am still in shock that I am pregnant.
Between years of trying to get pregnant on our own and trying to have a “happy accident” pregnancy and everything else in between, I have become a little numb to the situation. But it’s for real. I’m in my second trimester already. I couldn’t be more excited about it. However, once we passed a milestone – the twelve-week one – we had to start deciding who we were going to tell, when we would tell them, and how we would do it.
We decided to start with our twins.
The biggest hurdle was being petrified of a miscarriage. It’s a scary, sad truth that we’ve unfortunately had to watch family and friends go through. (Please keep us in your prayers!). It’s an absolutely horrible thing to think about, and you can’t help but worry about it. But at the same time, we knew we couldn’t wait until I was as big as a house to let the kids know that they might have to start bunking together again because they’re going to become big siblings.
My husband wanted to wait until twelve weeks. I didn’t know what the right answer was because being unable to have another baby for so long just made me want to shout it from the rooftops. So as week twelve crept upon us, we decided to go for it.
We planned it out together. We would get them “Big Brother” and “Big Sister” t-shirts. We found some adorable options on Etsy and, of course, had to get the matching “Little Sister” and “Little Brother” onesies too. So shirts were ordered and then books, oh the books.
Since we continue to live in COVID times, I couldn’t just wander around a book store and read all the big brother and sister books there are out there. Just the thought of wandering around any store in a mask gives me anxiety. So it was online shopping! Todd Parr is one of my favorite authors and illustrators, so I decided to stay in my comfort zone with the Brother Book and Sister Book. Lauren Child is one of our other favorite authors, and she has a delightful little story about “The new small person.”
We sat the kids down one night after dinner and told them we were having a family meeting. We gave them the wrapped t-shirts and books. My daughter started looking at the books and totally ignored the t-shirt. My son went right for the shirt and tried to sound out what it said. It was a special moment. My husband filmed the whole thing.
Since that night, my daughter has started her own list of names and continuously rubs my belly, telling me how big I am. My son was so nervous to see the sonogram picture but was excited to hear the heartbeat recorded at my last appointment.
We are still in shock that we were actually pregnant again after a failed embryo transfer. But here we are with a successful round! Now to tell everyone else! Six months to go, wish us luck!
