COVID has changed so many relationships for me.
I’ve lost friends because I can’t commit to anymore Zooms.
I’ve become disappointed and disengaged with family who can’t seem to return texts or calls, yet can drive hours away for the weekend.
I’ve spent more time than ever on the phone with my mom, who only lives barely three miles away but lives alone and needs “human contact.”
I can adjust and manage these changes; however, the relationship I worry about the most is the one with the people in my house. I worry about my husband and sons during these never-ending COVID days, as Teacher-Mom is returning.
I love my job almost as much as I love my family, but last spring nearly crushed me. I have never been very good at separating work-life and family-life. At least when I was able to leave my physical workspace, I could take a break until after my children went to bed.
With COVID, there is no physical break. I am among the lucky few who will be able to return to my physical space, for now. What worries me is when that is not possible again. Last spring, my children felt the brunt of this personal inability to “close the office.” My dining room table became my office. My kitchen became my charging station. My bedroom became my recording studio. My children’s toys became teaching props. My patio porch was my meeting area. My whole house became my classroom.
From the moment we woke until the time my literal and figurative batteries died, I worked. Many nights when my children went to bed, they worried that I still wasn’t done with work and had to go on until the early hours of the night.
Then add my husband to the list. He had to take a third seat. Gone were date nights, interesting conversations, or just hanging out on the couch and watching a show together. As our living room became the set for “4-S Life from Stamford,” my husband became a hard-working extra..standing in for stunts, lighting props, and an extra set of hands. Forget about anything else. More nights than I’d like to admit, he would go to bed while I continued to burn the midnight oil.
Yes, he’s an adult and understands, but as my partner, this took a toll on our relationship as well. This summer has been a slight relief, but quarantine life is still limiting what we can do to strengthen our relationship.
With school starting, I can feel my tension and stress mounting. Teaching is not a job. It’s a lifestyle that chooses you. As the fall unfolds, I will have to push myself to choose my family and important relationships just as much as I choose my passion.
