The Question NO Mom Wants To Be Asked…


What do you do all day? 

Well there it is. The ONE question every mom, working, or stay at home, NEVER wants to hear. In my head, I’m throat punching the person who just asked me. And what I *want* to say is: well between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m. this morning: I was a nurse, janitor, a personal stylist, and a referee. That’s probably more than you do all day and I’ve only been awake for two hours. 

what do you do all dayIf any boss on the planet asked you to do everything your kids did, for no pay, you’d laugh and walk out, yes? 

Me? I write this because I straddle two of the many Mom roles. I am a work-at-home mom and a stay-at-home mom. I don’t have help, aside from my fabulous husband. I work 45 hours per week, as an employee for a high-profile client as her executive assistant, and customer accounts manager. But, it wasn’t ALWAYS like this. 

I had always worked in a traditional office role. After I had my first child, I worked part time as an office manager. It was fabulous, I had the best of both worlds, I got to get out of the house, socialize with other adult human beings, and have a role other than “mom.” But when I was pregnant with my second, we realized that me going back to work, and paying for daycare for two, would negate my salary. So, I began looking for legit work-at-home opportunities. 

The math didn’t work out for us…

Legit was the key word, and super hard to find. After about four months, countless resumes sent out, and flaky interviewers, I finally landed a client. I was a contractor, had a DBA, had a tax id, all of it. I was in business. 

Fast forward two years. I was fortunate enough to connect with an amazing VA business. The owner and her company took me on and had faith in me when I was a completely new VA with no industry specific skills. And only a promise that I was a fast learner, dedicated, and loyal, and that I loved a challenge.

As a mom that holds up both roles, and does both in-home, with no help, I thought I might give you a rundown of what a day of mine looks like. 

This is what happened yesterday: (you can’t make this up)

4 a.m.: My son wakes up.

5:30 a.m.: I get out of bed and drag myself to the shower.

6 a.m.: Human form, make coffee, take vitamins.

6:15 a.m.: Sit down at computer, clear out emails to customers.

7:00 a.m.: My son is not going to school again, he’s super congested and (GOD!) that nasty cough. I can’t wait until our ENT follow up Thursday.

7:20 a.m.: Switch marketing and branding on 36 opt in boxes.

8:00 a.m.: Take care of accounts payable for client – and a snack request (already) from kids.

8:45 a.m.: Follow up with our realtor, we’re listing our house.

9 a.m.: Get on conference/training call.

9:15 a.m.: My daughter is naked because she spilled *a drop* of water on her shirt.

9:30 a.m.: My don is naked, because his sister is.

9:45 a.m.: Both kids are pushing Swiffer mops around the first floor, naked. And there’s a Swiffer wet jet swamp in my front hall.

10 a.m.: My son yells, (while I’m still on my call): “I’m done pooping” >>OMG<<

10:15 a.m.: My daughter, “I pooped on the floor” >>WHAT?!? You’ve been potty trained for 8 months, what did you want something to mop up?<<

10:20 a.m.: “I’ll let you go, we’ll wrap up later.” My phone call ends. >>Me: mortified<<

11:30 a.m.: I make lunch, and put on Paw Patrol (thank goodness for those dogs!!!).

1 p.m.: Client affiliate webinar, BEG children for complete silence while I log on until I can mute my microphone as fast as humanly possible.

1:15 p.m.: NAPTIME!!!

1:20 p.m.: Answering emails, responding to webinar chat questions, sending questions for client to answer live on air from attendees.

3:30 p.m.: client call  >>please let the kids stay asleep!<<

3:50 p.m.: Almost home free… daughter wakes up……microphone mute…..dang, client asked me something…

4 p.m.: Call done. CLEAR!!

4:30 p.m.: Hero husband is home.

4:30 p.m. – 7 p.m.: Clear out client’s inbox one last time, tie up any loose ends from the day. Somehow fit in dinner.

7:45 p.m.: Bed for kids.

8 p.m.: I fall into bed, watch 2 shows and CRASH.

So now you know what this SAHM / WAHM “does all day.” My experience: Hilariously frustrating. Intensely gratifying. No matter what your mom role; stay at home, working, work at home…it’s about finding balance, choosing your battles, and working hard everyday at everything you do. There is nothing I would change.

In my opinion, I get to contribute to the enrichment of my kids’ lives, and to our household finances. I get to attend doctor appointments, or school plays without having to take time off. I can work on my laptop from the couch if someone is sick. And, while I’m biased, I have the best boss. I’ve met some incredible people in this virtual world. I’ve been inspired, challenged, and I’ve grown.

What do I do all day? I grow, I thrive, I succeed. And I watch my kids do the same. What are you doing?

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Kate is a full time Virtual Assistant for a large internet marketer and several smaller entrepreneurs. She spends her VA hours keeping her clients calm and focused while she takes care of all of the back end project management and customer happiness. Most often found with a cup of coffee in hand, she spends many of her VA hours also juggling Mommy hours for her two precocious and high energy kiddos Jax and Brenna. Kate and her family just relocated back to the area from Colorado where they lived for 7 years. A Fairfield County native, Kate is thrilled to be home and sharing some of her own favorite childhood memories and re-living them vicariously through her children.


  1. I am a 77 yr old retiree after working since age 14. Worked until 68 1/2. I get asked the same thing. Widowed at age 43. Worked while taking care of parents and inlaws…each taking their turn in their needed support during their individual illness-filled last years. The dear gentleman I met when in my 60’s became terminally ill and I served as his in-home Hospice family care person as neither of his two sons could arrange to do so. Helped my son with his businesses over retired years. Just got a young dog for companionship from a shelter and have been house training him. Do all my own cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands and shopping. Fills my days………….

    i love being home! I love housework……… call me crazy. If one is home all day, others others think it must extremely boring. And that’s ok.


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