Parenting is a team sport, right?


Let me start off by saying that I love my husband. He is a terrific husband and father, and puts in an extreme amount of hours in at a job that provides us with a very good life. He’s a great guy. A ‘catch’ in my grandmother’s terms. That being said, no matter how much we try to keep our family life a 50/50 experience, there’s a definite hierarchy of parenting in our house.

I’m a stay at home mom and therefore spend the most time with our child. Because of that, I have a few bones to pick with my husband regarding parenting our child. These grievances are my own, but I know they apply to many other parents I sport

1. Our child is getting older and has new skills. I know you don’t see him as much as I do, and I realize I see the first times more often than you. But that is not a reason to question me on his abilities until you see them first for yourself, and, in turn, treat him like a baby until you do. Our child doesn’t just become a big kid when you have the same experiences I do. When I say our child can do something, I’m not making it up in order to have a good story to tell you. Take me at my word and look forward to seeing it yourself without discretion.

2. As I have explained to you before, we have a schedule. Sure, the schedule can be modified, but when you say you want to stick to the schedule and then don’t, you can’t get mad when our child gets fussy and out of sorts. And, FYI, I’m not bending to his will, I’m trying to keep my sanity. I like to stick to what works, and your one day (or a few hours in some cases) in our world doesn’t make you a specialist.

3. Yes, you work. You work very hard. Thank you for that. I promise it’s not under-appreciated, BUT – I work too. My job, unlike yours, is 24/7. Sure, staying at home has its perks, but it never ends. Unless I make arrangements, I don’t get to clock out at 5pm and leave my coworkers behind. My coworker is by my side until bedtime, and then half the time I wake up with that coworker in our bed kicking me in the spine as he sleeps. When was the last time your coworker threw macaroni and cheese at you? Sneezed in your face?

Not only do I spend the day helping our child grow into a decent human being, I keep our house from falling apart. The house may not be spotless, but please let me remind you – You wore clean clothes to work today. You had something for dinner, right? The electricity is on because I took care of the bills. I realize you need some down time when you get home rather than in-your-face child time, and I’m more than happy to give it to you. Our child doesn’t need to catch the tail of a really bad day. But it goes both ways. B-O-T-H ways.

4. Your weekends are your time off to rest and get things done. I get that. I do. BUT, please remember that I pretty much have no weekends. I’m not saying my time is more precious than yours, just let’s be fair about this weekend thing. I go to the play dates and the birthday parties on the weekend and the school events during the week. I think I’ve earned a few hours of “me” time. FYI: Getting groceries alone does not fall into this category!

Okay, I’m done with my rant. Now to get my husband on board…

Hopefully there are some other moms that can relate. Do you have any advice to offer?


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