Parenting Hypocrisy

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hypocrisyI like to think I am a woman of my word. Of course, I can talk the talk and walk the walk, and I stand by my ideals. Then I had children and now every single day (sometimes every hour) my beloved minions make me fall into the traps of PARENTING HYPOCRISY!

Example #1

What I think: Please keep your hands to yourself. Stop touching your sister! Yes, that includes your feet. I will staple your hands to your head if you don’t stop touching her!

What I do: Oh my gosh, the lighting is perfect, you guys look adorable. Please scooch closer and give your sister a big hug. Say cheese!

Example #2

What I think: Please walk…please walk…STOP running in the house!

What I do: You better put a little pep in your step and RUN into this car because we are late. No, I need you to actually RUN. Get in the car. Get in the car. Get in the CAR!

Example #3

What I think: We only color on paper and we never color on the walls.

What I do: You can totally color on this small piece of wall I painted with special chalkboard paint. But only this small section. I am more than confident that your 18-month mind will grasp those very specific boundaries.

Example #4

What I think: Please use inside voices. Contrary to popular belief I do not move faster when your voice reaches DefCom 10.

What I do: Grandma is really hard of hearing so you need to talk VERY loudly when we go to her house.

Example #5

What I think: Sharing is caring!

What I do: Unless we are talking about MY phone, camera, bed, or dessert. Those are MINE and I am not sharing.

Example #6

What I think: Oral hygiene is extremely important and we always brush our teeth before bed.

What I do: Dad is working late, and the Bachelor starts in 5. Can you hop into bed and skip the whole 20-minute toothpaste smearing ordeal?

Example #7

What I think: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

What I do: Donut Delight drive-thru eaten in the car on the way to school totally counts!

Example #8

What I think: We are leaving in two minutes. This is your warning.

What I do: Oh wait, I totally forgot to send that email, start the laundry, and load the dishwasher. I can do that all in two minutes.

Example #9

What I think: Our family rule is that we always try one bite of a new food.

What I do: SPIT it out! Dog food does not count as a new food, neither does the green gum you found on the playground park bench.

Example #10

What I think: It is our general belief that we should always use a proper toilet and refrain from urinating on our lawn, in the pool, or on the playground mulch.

What I do: Peeing in the ocean when the bathroom is a sandy mile away is totally cool with the fishes. And when nature calls while mom is running and you are in the stroller, peeing on a tree is also fine. It is called a drip dry.

Are you a parenting hypocrite too?

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Nikki has called wonderful Fairfield County her home, her entire life. Growing up on a campus of a private school in Greenwich, CT Nikki swore to her educator parents that she would never be a teacher. Well life has a way of repeating itself and now Nikki and her amazingly supportive husband are happily working at a different independent school in Greenwich. A recovering “type a” perfectionist she is learning to let go of her color coding, alphabetizing ways and embrace the mess. Helping her enjoy life’s everyday messes are her two precocious girls Sofie (11/15/11) and Keira (9/7/13). Nikki loves all things mommy cliché including but not limited to walks on the beach, running, reality TV, organizing closets, wine, chocolate and having her kids help her out in the kitchen.

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