A Crush is Born: Why so many of us are obsessed with “A Star is Born”


Like most other women, I gave in to all of the hype earlier in the year and paid my $12.00 to go see Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper in “A Star is Born.” Going into it, I knew it was a love story and there was some tragic ending with some killer ballads by Lady Gaga. 

I was not expecting to leave the theater with a feeling of being punched in the gut and a face full of tears. 

The thing about the movie, mostly because of its main characters, is that the feeling of heartbreak did not leave after I got home. I spent several days mourning the loss of this made-up movie character and wanting to be the Ally of Jackson Maine’s eye. But why? What was it about these characters that stayed with me and many other viewers around the world? Besides the obvious – Bradley Cooper as the leading role – there was something else that lingered within all of us months after viewing the film on screen. What is it about this movie that has all of us shedding a tear as soon as the lyrics, “Tell me something boy…” comes on the radio?

After talking it over with many of my friends, I have come to my own conclusions. For one, Lady Gaga is magnetic as the starring female role and it is such a leap from her onstage persona that you can’t help but fall in love with her character, Ally. But it’s really the love story between Ally and Jackson, Bradley Cooper’s character, that is the center of the storyline. It’s the classic plain-Jane picked out of a crowd by the handsome rock star and magically brought into stardom only to find in the end, it may have been too good to be true. We all have fantasies of being plucked into some kind of stardom, or at least the star of someone’s heart. This classic fairy tale is as old as time, which is probably why the movie has been remade three times! But there’s something else that lingers for most women after watching the movie…

Spoilers Ahead….(if you have not seen the movie and do not want to know the ending, DO NOT READ ON…)

Most married women I know long for the days when we were in the courting stage of our relationships and everything seemed exciting and new that even hearing the voice of your partner made you squeal (remember that?). As life goes on and relationships grow, we tend to lose that initial excitement and many relationships become more familiar and comfortable. Not that the natural progression of any relationship is a bad thing, it’s only natural. But I am sure we can all agree we miss those early days. 

But it’s really Jackson’s character that keeps the movie lingering even after the lights come on in the theater. Jackson is damaged, he’s needy, but not in an annoying way, in a totally sexy, makes you want to do anything for him kind of way. Women, especially moms, who are constantly tending to the needs of others are natural caregivers. We see Jackson, and his piercing blue eyes, messy hair and deep voice, and we just want to take care of him. We want to be the one he opens up to. The one he finally falls for. When he takes his own life at the end, after everything we have seen him go through with Ally, it’s like a slap in the face. That person who needed help, who offered so much affection and attention, ultimately could not deal with the pressures of it all. As women, as wives, as mothers, this is tragic for us on so many levels. 

We want to care for everyone, we want to be recognized, we want to be cherished and when we see someone fall from grace, it impacts us more than anyone else.

So to the husbands out there who are sick of hearing their wives belt out every word to the songs on the “A Star is Born” soundtrack, be patient.  We will get over this tragedy. We will recover from our Bradley Cooper, Lady Gaga comas and come back to reality. Just let us feel for these characters and mourn the loss as only we know how to and prepare for another month of sorrow when the movie comes out on DVD!


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