Mom Guilt: Stay Home or Vacay


We all know what it feels like to make tough decisions. Recently, mine was whether or not to take a much needed vacation with my husband without the kids. I mean it had been eight years since we had one (that was longer than a one night getaway). After my husband suggested the trip, I was immediately excited. Where would we decide to go? Should we fly or take a driving trip? But even aside from that, the mom guilt began to loom. 

In the weeks leading up to our excursion, I began to have moments of guilt and anxiety. The thought of leaving my kids while I vacationed made me feel bad. It was actually to the point where it was waking me up at night. I started to prepare my kids about what they should expect during the days we would be away.  The girls knew that Grandma Barb would be staying with them at our home and taking care of them. 

As the days to our vacation grew closer, I again had the guilt and doubt in my mind about whether to go. I still felt terrible about having fun while the kids were “stuck at home.” But my husband assured me we needed the trip together, and it would be a good opportunity for us to refresh and reboot. 

After researching many great spots for a getaway vacation; we went to Austin, Texas. The vacation set in quick for me, as there were no beds to make, no food to cook and no dishes to be cleaned. Wow! Now there is something I have never experienced since having my children. My husband and I enjoyed fancy drinks during the afternoons, all different types of foods (those my kids would never try), and sleeping in past 7 a.m. I was able to enjoy activities that I would not be able to do with my children. 

Of course I missed my children. I did get to “FaceTime” daily with them. But, to my surprise, they weren’t too interested as they were having a great time with Grandma taking trips to the playground, baking cookies and lots of nature walks. 

On the night we arrived home from our trip, we did not get in the door until after midnight, so I had to wait to the morning to see the kids. In the morning when they got up, the first question I asked my oldest daughter (born in 2011), “Did you miss us?” She replied, “It went by super quick.” I was shocked they didn’t miss us that much, but was also very relieved that it went well for them. 

I learned that mom guilt is real, but it’s okay and good to push back, and go with what your gut really tells you. My husband and I got to reconnect, relax and forget about the daily chores we face at home. My advice is to take the trip with your spouse, friend or whomever and allow yourself to reset.

{On a side a note, our vacation was actually 2 months ago, from when this article is posting. The funny thing is, both my husband and I agree that it feels like this trip was last year!}



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