Meltdown Averted

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meltdown avertedI hate to admit it, but I have been arguing with my two-year-old son, and he has been winning. This is something I told myself would never happen when I became a mother. Of course, I have heard of the “terrible two’s,” but I didn’t think I would have legitimate arguments with a toddler.

I know to choose my battles carefully, but lately, it seems like a full-blown war.

The biggest obstacle now is to stop him from what he is doing, either to go on the potty, get dressed, or even eat (which might be his favorite thing to do). For example, yesterday, he was lining up his trucks and cars, and I actually had a minute to sit down, check my email and get lunch ready. When I was done, I said, “Time to clean up,” and I was completely ignored.

I then went over to him and repeated the directions. He looked me dead in the eye and said, “NO! Parking garage.” When I responded that he could play again later, a huge meltdown occurred – crying, yelling, and kicking his feet on the floor. I was forced to carry him to the kitchen table, and it took about 10 minutes to calm him down. Way too much effort!

Later that night, I was busy folding laundry when my husband began calling me to come and look at this new double stroller he was researching. Of course, I was annoyed! I was in the middle of doing something and was almost finished. That’s when it hit me, and I experienced a moment of mommy guilt. Even though my son is only two, he still experiences the same feelings as we adults do; however, he doesn’t have the vocabulary to express himself. I would have appreciated it if my husband had asked me to come to check out his new find when I was finished with my task. So I decided I needed to be more considerate of my son’s feelings.

The next day, he was busy again, stacking his blocks to create a construction site (he is obsessed with trucks and building). I knew he needed his teeth brushed, clothes changed, and shoes on. We needed to be out of the house in 15 minutes. Of course, I was in a panic that we would be late for gym class, but I needed to respect his feelings. Instead of insisting he stop, I said, “We need to leave soon, add a few more blocks, then we need to clean up.”

I left the room to throw a few last things in the diaper bag, expecting to return to him cleaning up, but my request had been ignored…big surprise! Instead of getting frustrated, I sat down and asked him to show me how he could put the last block on the tower. Once he did, he looked up at me and smiled. I could see how proud he was of himself. With a big hug and some encouraging words, he willingly left his towers and walked into the bathroom to get ready.

Even though we were still running late, we had managed to avoid a meltdown. We had both won the battle! He was able to finish his task with pride, and I could get him ready to leave the house with no tears. I guess the “terrible two’s” don’t always have to be so terrible.

What battles are you fighting with your toddler? Please share your tips to avoid the dreaded meltdown!

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Michelle
Michelle is the Owner and Editor of Fairfield County Mom and Westchester County Mom. She has spent her entire life in Fairfield County, growing up in Norwalk and now residing in Fairfield, CT. Michelle married her husband, Chris, in October 2008. Before motherhood, she thought she was busy, but now life with her son Shane (March 2011), twins, Blake and Brynn (June 2013), Hank the Lab, and Bruce the Frenchie; the meaning of hectic has been redefined! Michelle is also a working mom, teaching third grade at a local public school. When she’s not making lists, chauffeuring the kids, and doing laundry, Michelle enjoys standing along the sidelines cheering on her kids, lounging with a good book, eating dark chocolate, and sipping on some tequila.

4 COMMENTS

  1. Great post Michelle! Helpful tips to be able to relate to how our kids are thinking and feeling. I don’t like having to stop in the middle of what I am doing either 🙂

  2. Good morning Michelle.
    My boys are all grown but I have lives through your struggles and it is true when they say little kids, little problems, big kids big problems.
    One suggestion I have for what its worth, go over what the plan is for the day with your son in the morning maybe when he is having breakfast. Give him some warning so when you say we have to leave soon to go out its not a such a surprise. We as parents have to remember that what the kids are doing are just as important to them as what we do as adults. So if it means helping him finish the building or throw out a few reminders to him before its time to go, might help/
    Good luck to you.

  3. Such good advice. We often forget that our little ones need some of the same courtesies as we do as adults. Feel like we are always rushing out the door and that is when I am most stressed!

  4. One thing I’ve recently found works well with my son (2 years 4 months) is explaining my expectations before we begin something. For example: ‘We can go take a walk, but you have to walk the whole way. Mommy isn’t going to carry you back.’ Or, ‘You may have a banana for dessert, but you have to eat all your peas first.’ It seems to really help focus him and give him a tangible goal. Of course we still have our daily meltdown (usually at lunchtime), but I find this strategy has really been helping. We forget how much these brains in these little bodies understand!

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