All it needs to take is a single minute. 60 seconds, that’s it.
Whenever you choose to do it, I’d like you to be alone.
A minute for yourself, by yourself.
Walk over to a mirror.
Look, really look at the woman in the reflection. Look at the woman she is, not what you see of her looks.
Look at her and see her the way you see your child(ren).
See her in her natural state. See her beauty. See what twinkles in her eyes. See what joy forms her smile to light up her eyes. See the features of her face, how they have changed shape over the years, and yet something from her youth remains in perfect tact.
Now, start that internal monologue.
Look at your reflection. What features (see what I did there with the plural noun? There is no way you only see one beautiful aspect in your child(ren), so you surely can find more than one about yourself.) do you see as beautiful?
Name them. Describe why those features are beautiful.
I imagine that words will escape you because you’ll be caught by the feeling of love.
When we look at our child(ren), we are unable to see any ugliness. We see them for who they are and how their very existence is beautiful. We could look at our child(ren) all day, feeling our love for them radiate within us. And yet, we rarely look at ourselves. And when we do, we rarely let love be the voice that sings us lullabies or cheers us on.
We see the wrinkles, the tired eyes, the inches of roots, the splotchy skin, the jiggly arms, the list goes on and on. We see what we think is wrong and must be fixed. But that’s a cursory, shallow look. It captures what we see, not who we see.
Think back to that first moment you looked at your naked child. It wasn’t a pretty sight, and yet all you saw was pure beauty.
When you strip everything away, when you look at the life before you, the existence you continue to cultivate, you can name so much that is beautiful.