I Lost My Sparkle

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lost sparkle

Recently I took a weekend away from my family to spend time with two of my sorority sisters. As I traveled into the city on the train alone, I realized it was the first time in a long time that I felt free. Free from work responsibilities, children, my husband; pretty much everything that I love about my life, but the stuff that has been weighing me down.

In fact, I lost my way, my joie de vie, my sparkle. To be honest, the past three years have been really hard for me. My family has suffered some hard blows: my father-in-law nearly died, my husband has been dealing with anxiety, my mom’s depression has worsened, my boys have become more clingy to me, and we’ve been to the urgent care/ER so often the people who work there now know us.

I have taken each hit in stride and powered through. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been without a cost. I have been surviving, not living. I haven’t been taking care of myself the way I know I need to.

My cholesterol and weight aren’t where I want them to be. As a former gym-rat, I barely workout twice a week these days. I’ve also fallen off the radar with most of my friends. Texting/calling/emailing friends has become a chore.

That hour-long train ride into the city was a wake up call for me. Rather than continuing to simply go through the motions, I’ve been trying to be better about working out and giving myself grace. I have also been working on reconnecting with my friends. If you haven’t heard from me in a while, know I’m trying my best. Please know it’s not that I don’t want to be your friend; instead, I need to remember how to be my own best friend. As a mom, it’s especially hard to remember to take care of myself, but as they say on airplanes, you need to put your mask on first in order to care take of others.  

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Maria Sette
I'm a full time mom/teacher/wife/daughter who feels pulled in too many directions! My son Michael took over 24 hours to be born, and at 6 months old he was diagnosed with allergies to dairy, eggs, soy, shrimp and wheat... all after my exclusively nursing because I was SO SURE that would help him be a healthy kid. The joke was clearly on me. Luckily at age 1, he outgrew his soy and wheat allergies. Fingers crossed the others will soon follow. In July of 2015 I gave birth to my second son, Christopher. Thankfully he doesn't seem to have an allergies and is pretty happy go lucky. I'm grateful between my husband who doesn't eat any veggies and me always battling my weight makes for 3 meals to prepare every night. No wonder I'm so dang tired! It's a good thing I love to cook and don't require more than 7 hours of sleep since I often get far fewer than that. I am addicted to Scandal and Nashville, but other than that, most nights I'm content to surf Pinterest and pin way too many crafty pins I will never do with my son. I hope readers can relate to me or at least have a chuckle at my expense.

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