After September of 2014, the answer to these questions wasn’t as straightforward as you would think. You see, my firstborn, my three-year-old, passed away. To cope, I dove into my relationship with my 16-month-old daughter. I tried to do as much with her as I could, things that I wasn’t necessarily able to do with her brother. So the questions arose as we explored Fairfield County, Las Vegas, and Puerto Rico in those first months after his passing.
At first, I was hesitant to disclose his death to the innocent strangers that asked, but it didn’t feel right not to mention him. He will always be my son, and he was what my world revolved around. How could I not acknowledge him?
So I resolved that no matter who asks, I will always say I have 2 children (and now, after the birth of my twins – 4) and mention him. I know it makes people uncomfortable or sad when I say that he has passed, and I apologize, as I know it’s unexpected. Sometimes I say his name and how old he was, sometimes I say he would have been 5, and other times I tell a brief story of what happened to him to cause such an early passing.