I’ve been dying my hair for years. I can’t tell you how many, but it’s been long. I remember finding my first grays around the time I turned 30 after I had my second child. The gray hairs were few and far between, so I let them be for a time. At some point, I decided to start covering them up regularly. I’m just about 45 years old now and ready to be done spending money and time every five weeks to cover my roots. I’m letting my hair go gray.
From what I can tell, the roots are a mix of ash gray with white highlights. I think it might actually look cool. Or at least I’m telling myself that!
What’s the problem with going gray? Why do we feel the pressure to always look younger and continue dying our hair?
Women coloring their hair has a long history in the world but the modern-day compulsion to cover the signs of aging is a societal issue with deep underpinnings. Women’s confidence in themselves and aging is constantly being bombarded. Gender expectations and marketing by beauty brands contribute to the pressure to keep gray hair at bay. I feel a shift in the air. Maybe it’s just the air around me, but it’s there.
When you look up the word gray in the dictionary, it says “lacking cheer or brightness in mood, outlook, style or flavor.” Well then, that does not sound like the vibe I want in my life! I’m setting out to defy beauty standards and grow older gracefully. I don’t see why my hair being gray has to set the tone for the rest of my style, personality, and vitality in life.
I feel this process will become less about me letting my hair go natural. It will be more about a change in me, how I see myself, and the world with me in it.
The ride may be bumpy. I’m sure I’ll have an unsteady mood, and I wonder how I’ll compensate for the jagged change in my hairline. My time at the salon stood strong as a self-care need. I’ll have to find something to fill it with (actually excited about that). I’m ready with some good hats and root cover-up spray for days I feel the knee-jerk reaction to dye it.
I know I’ll need kind words and support along the way. I hope you will follow my journey here and cheer me on!
