“Mommy, Miles said HATE!” I hear my daughter call from the other room. In typical twin form, my 4-years-olds love to tattle on one another.
We have a running list of “naughty” words in our house that my kids know not to say. On that list, you have your big hitters…the S-word and the F-word, to name a few. Also on that list are “stupid,” “idiot,” “kill,” and “hate.”
The word “hate” is a big one in our house as we try to teach empathy and compassion. Whether you “hate” your broccoli or “hate” the bully in your class…either way, that word is not acceptable. You can “not like” something, but “hate” is a heavy word, and we teach our kids that words carry weight.
I’ve been thinking about hate and my kids’ relationship with that word a lot this year.
Every time I read the news, it’s filled with hate. There were more mass shootings than days in 2019. Anti-Semitic attacks are on the rise, as are hate crimes of all types. Our society seems to be more divided than ever. Whether it be politics, race, or religion, we are losing our ability to put ourselves in one another’s shoes.
What happened to celebrating our differences? What has made us so angry and violent as a country?
I have a feeling the internet is partially to blame. (As confirmed by this terrifying NYT article).
Easy access to YouTube and extremist hate-speak is undoubtedly something that worries me as a mother. My kids are only four, but by the time they have their own devices, who knows what the digital world will look like? I can only imagine that the dangers lurking in the dark corners of the internet will intensify.
Even now, we limit screen time and make sure YouTube is supervised. Any time we see something unkind portrayed on screen, we pause and discuss. “Was that a nice thing to do to someone? Why not?”
We try and shape how our kids look at the world. An “us vs. them” attitude will never be tolerated in our house. As a mixed-race family, inclusion is taught as a critical virtue. Real strength comes from lifting others up, not putting others down, and I will continue to drill this point home until my kids are off to college. I can’t control what they will one day hear on the internet, but I hope to influence how they react to it.
Nothing makes me prouder as a mother than seeing my child extend kindness to someone different or struggling.
So, if you are over for a play date and hear my daughter scream, “Hate is a bad word!” you now know why.
I don’t work in politics. I have zero spare time to devote to activism. And yet, I still feel a pull towards wanting to better this world for my children’s generation. Maybe my mark is just that…it’s my children and how they treat others. We are making the world a better place, one tiny soul at a time.
Cheers to all the parents out there trying to do the same. (and trying to hide the wifi password in the process).
