FCMB Goes Back to School :: Forget the Grades {How to Help Your Child in School}

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As mothers, we understand one of the most critical components to our children’s young lives is their education. Since it’s time to ring in a new school year, the contributors at Fairfield County Moms Blog wanted to share some tips, tricks, and words of wisdom to help you through this exciting, yet stressful time. Be sure to keep a look out for our Education Series posts all this week!

homeworkWhen parents want to help their child become successful in school, that almost always translates to grades. Children need to know a lot more than the subject matter in school. In fact, parents don’t need to be subject matter experts to help their children do well in school. These skills are ones that parents can use with almost any school-aged child and can be applicable in virtually any subject.  

Teach them to self-advocate.

One of the most important skills that students need is to be able to speak on their own behalf. It’s natural for a parent to want to step in when their child’s grade is on the line. Before you run to your child’s rescue ask them what steps they have taken to resolve the issue on their own. For example, did they clarify the assignment in question? Did they ask for more details about why they received a poor grade on a project? Did they find out what the class average was on a failed exam?  

If students do not do their part in advocating for themselves, they should not expect parents to step in on their behalf. Set them up for success by giving them small tasks like asking a teacher for help after class or sending an email about an upcoming project. They will thank you for it later!

Help them to set routines.

Students thrive when they know what to expect both inside and outside of the classroom. When it comes time for homework and study time, many students either cram or ignore assignments. Sit with them and take the time to help them work on a routine that works best for them. Middle school is when students struggle most with balancing social activities and school work. Help them find out what might be a reasonable amount of break time in between studies (hint: it’s not 6 hours). Work with them to use their planners to get ready for upcoming tests or projects.

Find out what they are learning.

If your child is reading a novel in school, read along with them. Have discussions at the dinner table about their opinions. Ask them what they think of the characters and plot. If they are covering a topic in science, take them to a local museum. If they are starting out in chorus or band, take them to a live musical performance. If they are learning math, have them help you with budgets, food shopping, or balancing a check book. Students need to be able to apply the seemingly disconnected topics they learn in school into the real world.

Be a lifelong learner.

If students feel that you are a “do as I say, not as I do” parent, they will find little value in education. Be a reader and a learner. You don’t have to read Shakespeare or Physics textbooks to have an impact. Let them know that you enjoy reading and learning new things. When they see you trying out a new dance class or reading a manual to help you learn how to install a new shower head, they understand that learning is a lifelong process that happens even outside the walls of the classroom. If they share your interests, help them to challenge themselves to learn more!

Acknowledge their strengths.

It’s easy to focus on the lowest grade on their report card. Many parents see the one low grade as an opportunity for improvement and ignore a whole set of fantastic grades. If your child struggles in math, don’t focus on just that subject. Instead, praise them for the other subjects where they seem to excel. Instead of forcing them into tutoring for their “bad” class, offer them an enrichment camp for their strong subjects. This doesn’t mean that parents should ignore poor grades or struggles, it simply means that when a child is struggling, it shouldn’t become the ONLY focus of the conversations about school performance.

 Open a dialogue.

Many kids feel disappointed when they don’t achieve what their parents believe they should be “good at.” When your child is struggling, instead of reprimanding them, find out whats going on. Sometimes it’s a simple fix like changing a seat in class. I once had a student who refused to wear glasses in class. As a result, she could never see what I had written on the board. Once her parents took the time to let me know, I moved her to the front and her grades improved dramatically (note: she never agreed to wear her totally un-cool glasses in school).

Ask your child about what’s going on in school aside from tests and projects. Ask them who their friends are and which classes they like the best. Ask them about their favorite teachers and the teachers they don’t love quite as much. Ask them about where they sit in the cafeteria or where they sit on the bus. School is so much more than just what comes home on that report card!

We all want our children to be the absolute best that they can be. Spending the time to learn more about their world, makes you an invaluable resource for their success.

What are some ways you have helped your child be successful in school?

Be sure to read all the posts in our Back to School Series by clicking here.

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