Facing My Fear Head-On


facing my fearsFear has made my heart race and invaded my dreams because of a medical procedure I feared. My fear was to have an endoscopy and colonoscopy

Fears and anxieties can overwhelm us at any point in our lives. I wanted to finally confront it head-on, and not allow anxiety to dictate my actions. 

While I have had some ongoing stomach issues over the years, they seemed to become slightly worse as I approached turning 40. I have seen a few different doctors over the past few years and had various tests, such as bloodwork and abdominal ultrasounds. Thankfully, all results have come back “normal” with no concern. 

However, I still have battled some intermittent pains on my left side and occasional stomachaches. In 2016, I finally “gave in” and booked an endoscopic procedure to further examine my stomach. I spent time trying to arrange a ride (as you can not drive yourself home). I also arranged for my husband to take the day off work to watch our children. My mother-in-law graciously offered to drive me there, wait, and then take me home. 

But three days prior to the procedure, I called the doctor’s office and canceled it. As I sat and pondered what exactly I was afraid of, I realized I was scared to be put under anesthesia. I was worried that I may never wake up from it. 

But, then, I finally vowed to really take time to do what is best for myself and my health. It was time to get a closer look at my stomach, and to rule out any more serious concerns. 

I did some research and also had an in-depth conversation with my gastrologist doctor to learn more about what the procedure would entail. I also learned that outpatient anesthesia is safe and very routine. So, I began January 2021 with an appointment for my first endoscopic and colonoscopy procedures. 

The procedures went very well. And I did get some answers. I suffer from a little bit of diverticulitis, which is very manageable and treatable. 

I am so glad I faced this fear and conquered something that was bothering me for a while. My advice is to face your fears head-on, especially if they raise health concerns. 


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