Dear Second Born {What You Taught Me}

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second bornDear Second Born,

Almost 5 years ago, when I was 8-months pregnant with you, I wrote this heartfelt letter to your sister. I told her that she would always be my first, and that love is indescribable. I told her that she taught me about newborns, infants, and toddlers. She was my whole world, and I was hers, and our world was about to get turned upside down.

With pregnancy hormones coursing through my body, I was scared about giving up our special time together and wondered how I would ever possibly be able to love you as much as I loved her. Being an only child, although I always dreamed of having a house full of kids, I questioned whether this was what I wanted. Many nights I would find myself emotional about what was to come, both excited and anxious about what the future would hold once you joined our family.

On December 17, 2015 at 7:00 a.m. on the dot, you entered this world, and my heart doubled in size. As I held you in my arms and tears streamed down my face, all of my fears flew out the window. I knew in that minute that there never was a question of how I would love you. I loved you because you were you.

Although your sister was the one to make me a mother, you made me a better mother. You taught me things that I could have only learned from you. You are now 5 months away from becoming a big sister to a baby brother, and those familiar pregnancy hormones have me thinking back to how much you have changed me as a mother. I will forever be grateful to you for all that you have taught me.

You taught me that every child has their own personality and pace of growth. Despite being sisters, you and your sister could not be any more different from each other {most of time}. You’ve taught me to appreciate both of your unique personalities for what they are and to understand that just because your sister hit a milestone at a certain age, it doesn’t mean that you have to hit the same milestone at the same age. In some cases, you hit milestones later than your sister, and, in others, you hit them sooner.

You taught me to appreciate the firsts {and the lasts}. Experiencing firsts and lasts the second time around made me appreciate just how fleeting and bittersweet all those moments are. While I may not have appreciated them all the first time around and was maybe even in a rush for your sister to hit milestones, the second time around, I savored them for what they were and tried to soak it all in. I knew that the exhausting newborn stage would only last so long and that you would soon sleep through the night, so it made me easier to appreciate those 3 a.m. feedings.

You taught me that sisters are one of the most beautiful love stories you’ll ever get to witness. Although some days you and your sister bicker from sun up to sun down and drive me crazy, you two are usually the best of friends. From drawing each other pictures to snuggling in the mornings to being proud of each other’s accomplishments, it is an honor to watch the story of you two unfold. 

You taught me to dance like no one’s watching and to never miss an opportunity to shake your booty to some good music! While your sister is more reserved, you never hesitate to fully immerse yourself in a moment and move to the groove of the music, no matter where you are. 

I could keep going on, but the list would be endless. I can’t wait to see you become a big sister and find out all that we will learn together into this new adventure.

Love, Mommy

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Aarika Friend
Aarika lives in Trumbull with her husband, two daughters (2013 and 2015), and son (2020). Originally from Ulster County, NY, she fell in love with her husband at a UConn football game when she told him he had nice biceps and the rest is history. Outside of work and motherhood, she enjoys eating good food, sharing a drink with friends, summer days spent at Pinewood Lake or on vacation in Cape Cod, and mindlessly streaming too many shows with her husband. Her favorite time of day is early morning before her kids wake up with a hot cup of coffee and a good book.

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