“Do You Want to See My Baby’s Casts?”

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“Do you want to see my baby’s casts?” my three-year-old shouted down the produce aisle of Shop-Rite. I stared blankly at my son as I processed what he had said to a man who glanced in our direction. Before I could shush him, he touted louder, Do you want to see my baby? Do you want to see his casts?” and removed the burp cloth I had placed over the baby’s legs, exposing his two full leg casts.

I sheepishly smiled as I made eye contact with the stranger my son summoned. “He’s very cute,” the man said to my son, his eyes discretely making their way down to the baby’s casts. Sensing his confusion about a newborn decked out in bright blue casts, I informed him that my child was born with Clubfoot, a condition where the feet turn inwards and that his casts were part of the treatment to correct them and make them straight. The man nodded his head and smiled as my three-year-old lovingly rubbed his hand over one of his brother’s blue casts.

This wasn’t something new to me—explaining my son’s casts and his condition. My husband and I had been very open about our clubfoot journey even before our child was born. We educated friends and family and shared our experience as parents of a child born with this genetic condition. We anticipated glances and unsure looks when out in public. We knew most people would be curious and ask questions. I mean, It’s not everyday you see a baby with a cast.

But as the weeks went by there were times when I got tired of the conversation. There were times when I just wanted to feel the same normalcy I had with my two older children. Where bystanders would simply see a cute, smiling baby and not just his casts. Where I didn’t feel the eyes of others on me, watching and wondering what happened to my child. It was a vulnerable kind of feeling. Sort of like my child was on display for interpretation. So some days on my way out the door I would cover his casts with a burp cloth, blanket or car seat canopy because it just felt easier.

And then that day in the grocery store happened. The day I truly saw how much  pride and love my son had for his baby brother and his super cool, bright colored casts. My three-year-old reminded me that though my child’s casts didn’t define him, they were still part of his story. His casts created conversation. They allowed me to relate to strangers and even family members who had gone through their own similar journeys, that prior to my baby, I knew nothing about.

“Do you want to see my baby’s casts?” Yes, my little threenager. You are so right. So very right. There is no reason to hide behind a burp cloth.

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Alisa Fulvio
Alisa is a psychotherapist, life coach and mom of three. Alisa is a native of Fairfield County and lives with her husband (a New York transplant), daughter (October 2012) and two sons (January 2015, June 2018). Following the birth of her second child, Alisa left her full-time job and pursued her dream of starting her own private practice by founding Balanced Being Counseling, LLC and Balanced Being Coaching, LLC (abalancedbeing.com) located in downtown Fairfield. Alisa specializes in working with young women and moms to decrease stress and manage feelings of anxiety and depression. She is trained in treating perinatal mood and anxiety disorders and is an active committee member of Postpartum Support International- CT Chapter serving as the Communications Chair. Alisa is the creator the Facebook Group, Balanced Mama, a non-judgmental space for moms to feel inspired, gain support and come together among the chaos. She is passionate about motherhood, supporting women, buffalo chicken and a good margarita.

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