This may be controversial, and my therapist will not appreciate what I am about to say, but here it goes. Busy is better (for me). My family is constantly on the go, so much so that I often say I need an assistant to manage our schedule. I know myself, and even better, since I have been in therapy for over a year. I understand that my ability to take on so much serves a certain purpose.
I get that slowing down is essential, and an article or influencer often pops up about how our kids “need to be bored” and “activities are too competitive these days.” I appreciate those opinions and agree that rest is important, but days full of no plans just don’t work for me. I am teaching my children various life skills by keeping a busy schedule.
1. Time Management
As kids get older, so do responsibilities. Since my children often have afterschool obligations, they also ensure they have time to do their homework and all the other things they want to do at home.
I am a huge advocate for kids being able to speak up for themselves and clearly communicate their needs and wants. They are friends with children outside of who they go to school with and have many trusting adults who support them in ways we may not be able to.
I do not believe a child needs to find one thing or anything they are an expert in. Instead, I think exposing them to various opportunities creates well-roundedness and creativity. In this process, if the child finds something he or she loves, that is great.
In terms of myself, being busy serves multiple purposes. First, simply put, I am also getting life experiences, and I can do all this with my children and husband. I have the ability to learn more in my adulthood and open doors to more opportunities.
Second, it gives me a chance to socialize and meet new people. I have noticed that as my children’s friendships evolve, mine do too. And third, it is good for my mental health. Unfilled time makes me anxious and often leads to unproductive thoughts and actions.