A Bunch of Really Weird Things I Used to Judge Other Moms About



I know this is only my fourth post here at FCMB, but I want you to know something about me. I promise you I will always be brutally honest with you. And sometimes that will be really embarrassing for me. And Sometimes I will hurt your feelings, without really meaning or wanting to. But I owe you my truth. So here goes.

I have not always been a judgement free Mom. While it is my current mission in life not to judge any one for any reason, there have been times early on where I observed things, and just internally declared that they were downright FREAKY. And I guess my reason for sharing this with you is I sometimes wonder, “Did anyone else ever feel this way?” or was I the only terrible person deeming these things to be a little off? After I am done laying them out for you, I will tell you the good news about my major attitude adjustments in hopes that, if you feel like you could use one, too, you can use a little of my mojo to free you from these icky feelings.

1. I used to judge other women for being too into fitness – You know those moms who are almost always in active wear and have beautiful tight buns and calves that look like you could cut vegetables with them? I USED to get a little huffy when I looked at them. Where did they find the time to exercise? Why was this so important to them? HOW DID THEY DO IT? Do you want to know the truth? I wished I looked like them. I wanted to feel like them. I wanted to have THAT kind of relationship to exercise. And yet I didn’t. So getting a little judgy about them was just easier.

Flash forward a few years, and now I am one of those fitness moms. Now, I might not look like I belong in an Athleta catalog, but I have run 2 half marathons, go to yoga at least twice a week, and I love how being active makes me feel. Whether I’m walking on the trail pushing a stroller with some other moms, running alone, or at the Y, I totally get it now. Working out is in some small part keeping me a little saner, a little more grounded, and it reminds me that I MATTER.  My health matters. How I feel matters. It’s not about how I look, but how I feel. And now I feel sorry for judging those fitness moms as being obsessed with their bodies. I am sorry Fit Moms! Forgive me!

2. I used to judge other moms for being too wackadoo crazy about their kids – Most moms love their kids. But there are some Moms who REALLY love their kids – like a LOT. It’s all they talk about; all they post about. Their entire world is what the kid eats, what she wears, what classes he takes. And, in my journey from judger to judgement free, I have chosen to just decide that being crazy in love with your kid(s) is just sweet. I love my kids too, don’t get me wrong. I am just not a gusher. But girl, you can gush to me all day long about your miracle. I won’t judge. I will bless your heart and listen with love and admiration. 

3. I used to judge other women for caring too much about how they looked; what they wore, their hair, their makeup, their shoes…ALL OF IT – I used to have a mom uniform. It was jeans and a white t shirt, and I rocked it for years. And one day I decided I’d had enough. I got a few stitch fixes, went to a couple of LulaRoe parties, and now I have a wardrobe to be pretty happy with. I am one pair of sassy brown riding boots away from my own version of closet nirvana. So I get it, fashionista moms. Looking good feels good. I feel really bad for ever internally criticizing someone for wanting to look as good on the outside as you feel on the inside. Let your pretty flag FLY HIGH!

jealous4. I used to secretly judge other people for having super huge mansion-style houses where everything was beautiful and there was no possible way they needed all that space and stuff – There is no other way to say this than I was just house jealous. No more. Now, I watch Fixer Upper and I dream of decorating rooms, buying new furniture, and what my house will look like when I no longer have to worry about sticky fingers and dog slobber. I am GLAD for you that you have a big beautiful perfect looking home. Like Joanna Gaines, you are now my spirit animal.

5. I used to judge other women for being too crazy in love with their significant others – This one is a little like the above item about being crazy for your kids. Some people are gushers and some people are not. I have come to embrace that everyone expresses themselves differently. I have also come to admire really happy couples and seek to understand what it is that connects them on that level. I have also grown to see that I too am one of those girls that is crazy in love with her man. I just might celebrate that more quietly, with fewer people. But make no mistake – I am super lucky to have the fella that I do, and I thank my lucky stars every day for him and the life we have built together.

As you have probably gleaned – all of these old judgments were WAY more about my own insecurities and negative self-talk about myself much more than they were about any of the people I used to silently judge. And I can promise you this – It feels SO much better to celebrate a woman’s beauty, love of her children, gorgeous house, and toned abs than it is to tear her down. I let her be my relationship hero and raise a glass to her. And while I’m at it I’ll raise one to myself as well. Here’s to the evolution of a soul and the abandonment of judgement. Cheers!

Can you relate? Have you ever secretly judged someone?


  1. You are far from the only one who has had to deal with these kind of feelings – and you are spot on about the cause! Here’s to loving ourselves enough that we have room to love others!

  2. THIS here is one of my favorite blogs from you. Although I am not a mom myself, I can still relate to this. I was a big time Judger of others – HUGE! It took me a long time to realize it was my insecurity of not having what they have – or being like them. One day, I decided enough was enough and let go. I let go of my negativity. I let go of my stank face and eye rolls. I let go of all the nastiness I felt and basically tuned myself into a personal Planet Fitness (judgement free zone)!

  3. This is a profound thoughtful article and one that could be a life changing mantra for those that have the opportunity to read it. I’m quite sure we all can relate to this. Thanks for writing and sharing!


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