We must believe our children.
Starting at a young age, we teach our kids to stay away from strangers. We warn them about answering the front door, getting a ride home with someone they don’t know, and tightly gripping our hand when in busy places. We have this image of a creepy old man in a beat-up car offering candy to a youngster while they walk home from the bus stop. Does that happen? Sadly, it does. But is that the only person we should be concerned about when it comes to our children’s safety? Definitely not.
We must believe our children.
In addition to teaching our children about strangers, we also instruct them on who they should trust. Teachers, doctors, and coaches are usually at the top of this list. Not unlike the creepy old car man, we also have an image of people in these professions going through intense training, having background checks run, and being carefully scrutinized after an interview. These screening processes have ensured that these professionals always have our children’s best interest and safety in mind–right?
We must believe our children.
The sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic church, Jerry Sandusky praying on at least eight young boys as a football coach at Penn State, and now the guilty plea by Larry Nassar–former doctor of the USA gymnastics team–are all nightmarish scenarios. As a parent, I can imagine few things worse than knowing a predator was someone my child not only spent time with, but also implicitly trusted. Dropping them at gymnastics practice or football camp, excited to hear about their triumphs at the end of the day, never knowing that I was leaving them in the hands of a child molester–it literally makes my stomach churn.
We must believe our children.
Of all the disturbing details that are revealed when these stories break, one often takes the longest for me to process: that some of these victims told a parent or another adult about the assault, and nothing was done. How is it possible that an adult could hear such a thing, and simply dismiss it? Is it because the allegations don’t fit the narrative of the person being accused? It is because our over-investment in some highly competitive youth sport clouds the gravity of the situation? It is because our brains simply cannot process that anyone could ever do such a thing to a child?
We must believe our children.
As parents, we have a duty to protect our children. So, if your child, or any child, comes to you with a story that sounds as if it might be related to abuse, we must not let that go unaddressed. Does that mean you take to social media and write a long post about this predator your child has been exposed to? No, I would not suggest that. But as a parent, it is your obligation to take the next step and do something with what your child has shared.
We must believe our children.
Imagine how many of these monsters could have been stopped if an informed adult stepped in when there were signs or statements of abuse? Unfortunately, we will never know. For the sake of your child, and mine, and all the others in our communities, even if a child is telling you about someone who you never, ever could have fathomed would do them any harm, they are depending on us to take the right course of action.
