Being a single mom is not something I think anyone sets out to do, but somehow along the way it happens to us. And in the midst of it all, life goes on. More often than not, mom gets the kids. And although we are over the moon about getting to raise them, it sometimes gets so overwhelming. We’re happy to be there when they wake up and tuck them into bed at night knowing they are safe and sound. We are happy to listen to how their day was at the dinner table and eagerly excited to share our motherly wisdom with them.
It becomes overwhelming when you are not able to take that promotion at work because you know you have no one to watch the kids. And that means even though we know we are capable of doing the job, we settle. We settle into a lower position with better hours. We settle because the high position requires longer hours and it will take us away from the people we love the most. If we take that position, who could we trust to help with the kids? Or how about just not wanting to pass along that responsibility. Because we live for those moments.
We live for those moments like their first games and all the games at that. We want to see how they react to every play. We live to give them that warm hug after every game or competition or school event to let them know that we love them no matter what. Why would any mom want to pass on that responsibility?
I know eventually I’ll have all the time in the world to do any and everything I want. My kids are young now and these are the most important years. I want to be there for it all because I know they’ll soon be grown, and they’ll be on their own and I’ll be bored. Scared to death to go out and date, for now I’ve decided to be alone. I’m definitely not trying to be the cat lady, I don’t even like cats, but I’ll probably end up alone. Once they are grown I’ll have all the time in the world for me. At least that’s what I think.
I haven’t carved out enough time for my myself. When I do it’s the first thing to get canceled. My kids will want to do something last minute and just like that my plans are cut. My kids will then question me asking, “Why do you need to do that?” And then on top of that I often hear family and friends tell me, “You need to take care of yourself.” For crying out loud when do you have time for it!? There is only so much time in one day.
How do you balance it all? How do you prioritize things that you have to do for yourself? How do you say this is what I have and you guys better respect it and how do you sit with that?